Sara Lou
by L Marie
Summary: A Mary Sue spoof. Its supposed to be funny....read and review!


_Sara-Lou_

Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley were running to the large red train that was the Hogwarts Express. Their taxi had broken down, thanks to the disgraceful lack of petrol in Britain, and they had had to run all the way from Euston to Kings Cross Station.

"No time for going to the toilet, then?" Hermione said anxiously.

Ron gave her a funny look, as he helped Harry load their trunks onto the train. As the finally clambered onto the Hogwarts Express Harry gave a groan.

"What's the matter?" asked Hermione in a concerned voice.

"I just realised. Remember what it is today?"

"Tuesday?" Hermione felt puzzled.

"No, silly....it's the first day of out Fifth Year!"

Ron gave an equally miserably groan behind them.

Hermione was still confused. "So?"

"So we have to sit through the unbearable amount of American Transfer Students that will be coming to Hogwarts!" Harry lowered his voice. "I've had a surf around the internet on Dudley's computer while he wasn't looking, and believe me, it's not a nice sight. They make us kiss them and everything! Some even fall for Malfoy!"

Ron and Hermione made faces as they imagined a Mary Sue and Draco Malfoy having it off.

They sat down, covering the spare seats with Caldron Cake wrappers so that nobody could sit there.

"What's the damage?" Ron crossed his fingers.

"Um...we have either Malfoy's sister, my long lost twin sister, a Weasley cousin and....Snape's daughter."

"I hope we get Malfoy's sister," Ron said enthusiastically.

Hermione glared at him. "So she'll woo you with her Veela charms? Fat chance."

"Well, I would be very interested to meet my twin," said Harry. "But she'll probably not have the glasses....being a Mary Sue and all."

"I for one would like to see Snape's daughter," Hemione suggested. "I never really thought of him as being human."

Ron nodded his agreement. "A Weasley cousin would be just plain annoying..."

Hermione gave a disgusted snort. "Do children of today really have that much imagination? What have they done to their brains? I used to think of myself as a role-model for young girls...keep your head down and work hard..."

Ron laughed bitterly. "Hermione, _please_ - two syllables. TV."

Harry and Hermione both gave knowing nods.

The next five minutes were spent with nail-biting and anxious looks, as the three waited for the Mary Sue to make her appearance.

The train compartment doors slid open. Harry gritted his teeth and looked up. What he saw was no surprise at all. What he saw made him want to stand up and start reciting love poetry.

The most beautiful girl stood in the doorway. Her long, straight, smooth, shiny chestnut hair covered her shoulders. Her smooth flawless skin was tanned and her large eyes were blue like wide oceans. Her nose was small and petite and her pretty lips were rosy. She had the perfect figure.

The dirt under her fingernails was like beautiful mystic caves, the toothpaste stains on her mouth like white white snow, and the yellow patch on her robes where she had dropped cornflakes like the sun.

Hermione was giving the girl looks of complete and utter jealousy. _It's only the fanfiction_ she repeated calmly, _the fanfiction writers are taking over your mind and making you feel this way_. Times like this, Hermione hated being a character from a book.

"Oh.....I'm sorry," the girl said. "Could I sit here please?"

Ron noticed that she had a very obvious, if not pretty Amercan accent.

Hermione grudgingly cleared the wrappers off the seat and the girl sat down shyly.

"You must be the new American transfer student!" Ron said, beaming.

The girl nodded, smiling and looking very pretty.

Harry eyed her, secretly wondering what she'd look like naked.

"Mary Sue, that's your name?" Hermione asked.

The girl gave a tinkling laugh that sounded like crystal music. "Almost. Sara Lou."

"Such a pretty name," Harry mumbled, gazing at her.

"Oh....you must be Harry Potter!" Sara Lou turned her attention on Harry. 

Harry went red.

"I'm sure I'll love it at Hogwarts!" Sara Lou did her laugh again. Harry felt shivers go down his spine.

"So....who are you parents?" Hermione questioned.

Harry eyed her sharply. Hermione seemed a bit full on.

The girl's face darkened slightly. "I've never known my parents," she said, tight-lipped.

"You're an orphan then?"

"No. I'm the illegitimate daughter of Narcissa Malfoy and Severus Snape. You probably don't know them."

Ron gasped.

Harry cleared his throat. "You were adopted then?"

The girl smiled. "Yes....Severus and Narcissa were running away through a forest when they got caught and dropped me. I was raised by a pack of wolves."

Harry's, Hermione's and Ron's jaws all dropped.

Sara Lou gave one of her stunning smiles. 

A/N – No offence to anyone; any Mary Sue's and their authors.This was slightly weird. J We MIGHT do a sequel.In case you haven't noticed, we were taking the piss a little.We haven't posted for a while because one of us is writing under the name Taylor Malfoy. Thanks for reading!


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